In my short two-month tenure as a mother of two, I’ve finally discovered what many parents have long told me:  having two children is a lot different than having one.  It’s twice the work and it takes twice the effort, and despite your good intentions of playing the role of diplomat, the two siblings will not instantly bond or become best friends.

My children couldn’t be more different than one another–which is fine since one of our family tenets is to celebrate our diversity.  But because we each have strong personalities, there’s a constant clashing between Na and La, that Pa and I tend to get worked up about.  It’s normal stuff, too, like jealousy or protection of one’s possessions or personal space.  Mr. Na has long been an only-child, and this is his first foray into sibling equality.  It hasn’t been easy for him.

So, in addition to cleaning up after two small children constantly, and satisfying the needs of an extra person, I have to play peacekeeper, on top of the difficult challenge of taking care of a post-institutionalized child who never learned how to form a solid attachment to anyone, or learn how to play with toys, and never got enough food, and was never encouraged to talk.  These tasks make my days pretty draining.  And just when I seemed to have somewhat of a handle on the chaos, Pa leaves to attend several meetings in Europe for 12 days.

Pa’s business trips are nothing new.  In fact, if anything, his travel has been reduced over the last year, due to the economy.  Before Na started elementary school, we were lucky enough to accompany Pa to a few European destinations; but even when he was in kindergarten last year, I had the entire day to myself.  This year, I have zero time to myself, and even after 8 intensive hours with La, I have to devote time and energy to Na when he gets home.  By 9 p.m., after the kids are in bed, I’m spent.  I’ve gotten into the habit, now, of getting up at 6:00 a.m. every day, just so I can have a little time to myself before the chaos begins.

This last week has been pretty rough on me, and I couldn’t imagine raising two spirited children by myself.  Yet somehow, I manage to get out of bed every morning feeling recharged and ready to face the day.  I greet my children with smiles and kisses and genuine enthusiasm because I am happy to see them.  I love them and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.  Just like learning the ropes of raising one child, the two-child household is still new to me and I have to navigate through choppy waters before I have a grip on things. We do what we can because we love what we do.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to put my armor on so I can go to battle.

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